Parts that tend to take over the steering wheel in a conversation and what's underneath (with Maira Jorba)

In today’s episode Maira Jorba joins me for the first episode of Underneath the podcast where we have sensation-based conversations. The idea of this podcast is to bring awareness to and speak into thoughts and sensations that we might usually not mention (or be aware of) in a more conventional conversation, and that arise in the moment when we don’t have a predetermined agenda about what to say. In some episodes there might be a predetermined topic but in this one nothing was decided beforehand. Maira and I just got together and hit record to explore what would come out of the present moment between us. Well, it’s not just any present moment since we are recording with the intention of sharing that recording publicly. So we find it interesting to bring awareness to, what we often refer to as parts in us, that get stirred because there might be a potential future third party observer of what we say. When we notice the parts that wonder how a potential future listener (you maybe) might judge us and not necessarily identify completely with them, we usually have more space to feel their underlying sensations and to then be more aware of sensations all together. So in today’s episode, for instance, we come across tingling, buzzing and slow wave-like sensations. 

We feel into, that the reason that we enjoy relating in this slowed down, sensation-based way is that we can tune into sensations in the body that we might not be aware of otherwise and how when we are less aware of them we relate more on autopilot. On the other hand, when we do pay attention to these sensations, when we make space for them, we notice how we have more of a conscious choice about how to relate with others, about the most appropriate way to proceed with life. At one point during the recording, as we mention and observe, instead of identify with these different parts, I notice how my awareness kind of sinks down and becomes immersed into a felt sensation of something that throughout my life has not really had a lot of opportunities to come through when I'm in a conversation with other people. That I even have a tendency to leave that felt sensation when I’m in a conventional conversation. Maybe because this “something” within me seems to be very tricky, if not impossible, to translate into words. And also because, when it does try to express, something else comes in that wants to control the situation, convinced that this slow to express “something” will never be able to compete with fast paced and intriguing thoughts and ideas. 

So we speak about how recording these episodes is a way for us to get to know the parts that tend to take over the steering wheel when relating with others, not to get rid of them but to feel the felt sensation of them and allow all parts and sensations to come through which helps us come closer to who we wanna be. 

In today’s episode we also come across the sense of relief from allowing space for silence in a conversation. How something in us relaxes from the fact that we are not going anywhere with these conversations  If anything, we are going down. 

Titti Paulina: 

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Maira Jorba

You can connect with Maira via Facebook or at mairajorbagaldos@gmail.com.